The Stuff Dreams Are Made Of

For as long as I can remember, I've had incredibly vivid dreams. They are strange, action packed, occasionally confusing and sometimes frightening story lines created by my sleeping subconscious. I've often thought that keeping a detailed journal of these dreams would be a good idea, both for general understanding and because sometimes I think they would make great movies. That being said, I had another strange one last night. This one is not exactly movie material, but rates in the middle of my weird-o-meter.

It should be said that my dreams never follow an steady plot. One second, I can be at home making cookies and the next I'm riding a horse on top of the Empire State Building. There never seems to be any logical transition between scenes, and beginnings and endings can be abrupt or non-existent. Last night's dream may have had a definitive beginning, but today I cannot remember it.

It started with me walking through a mall, the big, ritzy-type, two story mall. I was wearing a wrap dress with a large flower pattern that was mostly black. I remember feeling like I looked good and I remember feeling like I was gliding through the mall like I owned the place. I was supposed to be meeting my family at a banquet hall that was located in the mall itself, however I was taking my time getting there. It seems, I wasn't excited about whatever event I was supposed to be attending. As I get to the venue, I realize there are many different rooms with different events going on. After peeking my head in, I decided to go into the room where a Bar Mitzvah type of celebration is going on. There is music and lights, all the makings of a great party. I notice an awkward young man, who's maybe 14 or 15. He seems to be the focus of the attention at this party, so I decide to wander up to this young man and ask him to dance. He's eager to dance with me. I look hot, remember, and I lead him out to the dance floor. Then, like a professional ballroom dancer, I start leading him through all theses crazy ballroom dance moves like we are contestants on Dancing With The Stars. It's like we are in Saturday Night Fever, minus the color changing dance floor and disco music, but definitely with the sweeping camera shots. I'm obviously leading, at this point because I'm dragging the kid around like a rag doll. You know, almost like when a little girl dances on her daddy's feet, except this had way more flare and dramatics. When we finish, the party goers are on their feet, and the room fills with applause. I remember thinking I was doing some sort of charity and thought to myself, "After that dance with me, this kid's going to be the talk of the town now." I saunter out of the room without speaking to anyone as the kid runs back to his family, only catching a glimpse of me exiting.

Another thing note about my dreams is that, more often than not, I don't recognize the people in them. When they do happen to be real life people, sometimes it can get weird. I remember the time I dreamt about making out with a not so attractive teacher from high school and had to see him the next day. I was mortified. I'll also never forget when I dreamt that my boyfriend had wrecked my brand new car, and I woke up pissed at him the next morning. I don't think he'll forget that one either. The next part of this dream contains someone I know in real life, but lucky for her (or me) nothing odd happened.

Scene change, and I'm at a pet shop that is in another mall. Come to think of it now, it kind of reminds me of the mall that my grandma used to take me when I was a kid. The odd thing about this pet shop is that it resembles a small, walk-up bakery. The case in the front, where the baked goods are usually displayed, is instead filled with puppies. There are no shelves in the case, it's one level is at about knee height, and the puppies are on display in there. There were a lot of them in there too, all piled on each other to the point where you couldn't tell what kind of puppy you were looking at. It was a big pile of wagging tails and fur. My friend, Season, is there and we are both crouched by the case looking at the puppy pile inside. There seemed to be a lot of poodle-looking puppies, so I asked the woman behind the counter, "What kind of puppies do you have in there?" She starts grabbing puppies and flipping them over, like they had labels on their bellies. Grabbing puppy after puppy, manhandling them like I handle blocks of Brie cheese at the grocery store, "This one's a Poodle. This one's a Shit-zu. Oh, another Poodle. Another Poodle." She continues reading the labels, and eventually we tune her out until I see a puppy that I think is cute. I ask her if it's a Cavalier, she confirms, and I get excited because I like Cavaliers. Then, I ask if there are any Havanese in the pile, and she goes back to belly checking. After a few more minutes of manhandling, she says, "I found one." This becomes quite a dilemma for me. I say to Season, as I'm on my knees in a begging pose, "What am I going to do? I can't have both." I'm feeling major stress. Apparently, this is major struggle. It is my subconscious' version of the red pill and blue pill. What to do? Oh God...

Then, nothing. That's where this dream ends. It is when the alarm clock sounded and popped my dream bubble. When I wake up after having vivid dreams, I always lay there for awhile and think, "What the hell did I just dream?" I try to recount the events of the dream in my head, trying not to forget. I almost always tell myself that I'm going to write it down this time, but it's never happened, until today. From now on, I'm going to try to get pen to paper, or rather hand to keyboard, to document the weirdness that goes on while I'm sleeping, and maybe even the chatter too because apparently, I talk in my sleep too. That, however, is another story.

Let's Get Physical, Physical - Round 1

I'd consider myself a regular gym goer. I try to make it to the gym 3-4 times a week and my work outs usually last 1-1/2 hours. Going to the gym that often, you start to notice the other gym regulars as well as the gym newbies. The beginning of the year always means a fresh crop of newbies, as people start new workout routines in hopes of reaching their New Year's resolution fitness goals. I'm totally guilty of being irritated that there are more people going to the gym. It just means more waiting for equipment or not getting my favorite cardio machine, but then again if the LA Fitness that I go to would just get more stair climbers maybe I wouldn't get upset. Hint, hint! But I digress, the newbies aren't really something to get upset about, after all, they are just trying to get healthy, something I'm always encouraging.

I've been going to the same gym for almost a year an a half now, and I still don't know anyone else that goes there. Sure, the some personal trainers seem to recognize me and occasionally say "Hello", but that's the extent of my socialization at the gym. This being the case, I've begun to create names and identities for my fellow gym goers. Sometimes, people are named from movie/tv based off their resemblance to those characters and sometimes they are named from unique and/or prominent features or behaviors. Either way, it assures that I'll have that little bit of excitement when I see who's come to the gym that day. Below are some of my most memorable gym goers.

The Celebrities:

• Jake Fratelli (aka Robert Davi). You know the singing bad guy from The Goonies. You'd think the same thing if you saw him. The guy's a dead ringer for the character. If he started singing really loud in Italian one day, I'd probably pass out.
  

• Daniel Linderman (aka Malcom McDowell) The head of The Company in the early seasons of Heroes and I know he's also been on HBO's Entourage. This guy is the same age and has the white beard and everything. I feel like he's going to mess with mind at any moment. I just wish maybe he'd mess with my mind and convince me to workout more.
  

Celebrities Only In My Mind:

• Too Old To Be Trying To Look Cool Guy. This retired military, 65-70 plus, old man walks around like he owns the place. Come to think of it, maybe he does. Anyway, one of these days he's going to hurt himself because he obviously refuses to take any advice on how to use the equipment properly. When he's on the stair climber and he's leaning halfway down on the handles while no doubt on a higher level than he should be, I shake my head. When I watch him to crunches on the ab machine and he's only moving his arms and not crunching at all, I close my eyes. When I see his see his body contort while trying to pull too much weight on the bicep curl machine, it makes me freaking nervous. Too proud to take advice, one of these days he's sure to hurt himself (knock on wood).

• I'm Not Here For The Exercise Lady. There's one (or sometimes many) at every gym. Mine is in her 40's, comes in full make up and hair with a tank top so low that her ample bossom looks like it may pop out any second. Of course, she hops up onto the treadmill and struts her stuff all the while her girls are bouncing along inside her top. I don't know why she doesn't just wear a t-shirt that says "Hello my name is *fill in name here* and I'm here because I'd like to get laid". It's as simple as that. Then, maybe she wouldn't have to be on the treadmill as long.

• Miss I'm Hot & I Know It. Listen, I'm all for having confidence. If you look good, by all means, show it off, but when you live in Western Washington we all know it is never hot enough to be wearing just a sports bra and leggings. Besides, when you're always the only one showing so much skin at the gym (with the exception of the above lady's boobs) everyone knows you're just showing off. Maybe I'm hating a little, that is what women do after all. I'm not too proud to admit it, BUT I know that if I had a body like that I still would have a little modesty and wear more than underwear to the gym.

• Spandex Pants Man. I haven't seen this guy in awhile, but he sure was a favorite. He was in his late 40's, had bleached blonde hair, and chicken legs which he proudly showed off in his spandex pants. The crowning glory, though, was the self widened neck, extra wide tee that he wore with it. He looked like a male version of Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. He always made my day and I'd kill to see him running in place singing, "I'm a ma-niac, ma-niac on the floor..."
  

What kind of gym goers have you encountered? Have you paid that much attention? Lord knows what people think about me. Hey there's that girl who only has 2 gym outfits, or that's the chick that reads smut novels while doing cardio, because I do. I'm getting ready to head out to the gym shortly, and will definitely keep a look out for those that I've missed that are just too good to not share.

Is Ignorance Really Bliss?

Another day of not working, so I was cruising through all my social networking sites to see what's going on in the world. I came across this article that talks about all the toxic chemicals that are in our health and beauty products. It was about two years ago when I really started looking into what the unpronounceable words on the back of my shampoo bottle were. A friend has suggested I check out, www.cosmeticsdatabase.com, the Environmental Working Group's, Skin Deep, a cosmetics safety database site, as they call it, "A shoppers guide to save cosmetics." You can search for the individual products that you use, or just search the brand itself. What you'll get is an overall "hazard score" for that brand and/or product and then a break down of what, if any, health issues each chemical is reported to be responsible for. It was a wake up call for me when I looked up products that I believed to be safe and come to find out that they were anything but. I don't want to pick on any brands in particular. The last thing that I need is any corporation coming after me for pointing out the flaws in their product, but you may be surprised to see that a lot of these companies claiming to use "natural" ingredients, may just be abusing the word.

Speaking of, a big FYI to all of you is that the FDA does not regulate the use of the word "natural". You can read a Huffington Post article about this publish last year here. Case and point the soda brand 7-Up, for awhile, was calling itself natural, and they went as far as to show their soda cans being plucked from trees. Does this not make any sense to anyone else? Since when was high fructose corn syrup considered natural? I won't get into food ingredients now, though, that's a completely separate and maddening issue.

In the meantime, do check out the Cosmetics Database site and see just what your putting on and in your body. Ignorance is only bliss if it doesn't end up giving you cancer.

When you're wallowing deep, it gets pretty thick.

For nearly a week now, I've been trying to collect my thoughts. I've been in a funk, for lack of better words, and I was having difficulty putting things into words or atleast, intelligent sounding words. If you weren't aware, the company that my man and I used to work for closed it's doors December of 2008, and ever since we've been either collecting unenjoyment, as I like to call it, or I've been trying to get by working as a freelance graphic artist. It's been a rollercoaster ride that we were never prepared for. Since my decision to stop collecting unenjoyment and freelance full time, the work dwindled down to a low trickle, and is not coming in at all now. Figures, right? Now we're just attempting to survive on his unenjoyment check. Nice.

No money only means one thing. Get out and get any job, ASAP! Well not "any" job. As I've told my friends, it cannot involve little or no clothing. After all, it's just too cold this time of year. All joking aside, I had to consider seeking out part time employment as a way to help put food on the table. This is were my boo hoo'ing comes in. Like a midwestern 21'st century Scarlett O'Hara, I stood strong and proclaimed that as God as my witness, I'd never work a dead end part time job ever again! I had worked so incredibly hard up until my job loss to get to where I was. I missed out on keg parties and late nights in college because I had to work myself through college. I lived on ramen noodles and hot dogs after college, trying to survive while wallowing on the bottom of the corporate ladder. I was at the highest point of my career, and making good money too, when it all came crashing down. Now, a year later, I feel like all that work was for nothing.

Don't get the wrong idea about me though. In no way am I too proud to flip burgers, work a check out line, or make a latte. It's just that I never expected to be here again. I still had the remains of the "you can do anything you want to" crap that they fed you in school. You know, go to college, get a degree, and the world is your oyster? I guess, I just assumed that I would always go forward and never have to take any steps backward. I know now, this is not true. Having brewed over this for several days now, I realize that it's not the end of the world and like all the struggles before this one I will only come out a better person in the end. I just hope that the end of this struggle comes sooner rather than later.

Keith Olbermann's response to Rush & Robertson

I couldn't help but share this video of Keith Olbermann's response to comments made by Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh regarding the crisis in Haiti. Team Olbermann!

Blood is the new black

I've been on a bit of a reading frenzy lately. I feel like I've read more in the past year than I was required to read in 4 years of college. Well, maybe not that much but then again Cliff Notes aren't that long. Anyway, ever since I picked up Twilight books last spring, yes "the" Twilight series (stop laughing), I haven't stopped reading, and the trend seems to be that most of the books contain a similar, undead subject matter. I might add, though, that I did manage to slip Dan Brown's, The Lost Symbol, in between because sometimes you need a little governmental and religious conspiracy to break up all the blood sucking.

You can't say that I'm a bandwagon vampire fan. I remember my very first experience with the undead. I was about 12 years old and Bram Stoker's Dracula, the one with Keanu Reeves, Winona Ryder, and Gary Oldman, had just come out on video. I was staying at my 19 year old cousin's apartment and after a trip to the video store, I had picked out this vampire classic . I remember my cousin being skeptical about my choice and asking me repeatedly if I was sure that movie was what I wanted. Honestly, I'm not sure what it was about that movie that interested me so much. I'm sure I saw some scary previews on TV and thought I could brag to my friends about watching it, after all how else to you gain status in the 6th grade? It was either that or the fact I knew my parents would never let me watch at home, and what pre-pubescent kid doesn't like the thought of slipping one by their parents? So, we brought the movie home, and I was glued to the TV and enjoying every minute, except for the occasional sex scene. Then, I tried to act like it was no big deal to see a wolfman, bat thing and a lady humping in the garden. All the while, I'm sure my cousin was seriously squirming in her chair and wondering if she was going to be in deep shit if someone found out what she had let me watch. All went well, though, and I remember being absolutely infatuated with that movie.

That being said, my current interest in vampire novels might make a little more sense. I will say, that I not a fanatic. I enjoy these books (and the movies that are made from these books), but I'm not attending the conventions if you know what I mean. Not that there is anything wrong with that! It's just that my level of devotion doesn't go that high.

This brings me to my latest read, Christoper Moore's "Bloodsucking Fiends - A Love Story". I just finished the book yesterday, and I'd have to say I loved it. It was a more humorous take on the vampire story. I'd even say that his version of vampire life is a bit more realistic. As Christopher Moore states on his website:

"I wondered, much as Im sure you have: How come vampires always seem to look well-groomed, but none of them ever seems to bathe or do laundry? How is it that they seem to come out of the grave knowing exactly what to do? What if a vampire had all the same insecurities in death that shed had in life, but she hadnt gotten the instruction book for the care and feeding of a vampire?"

It's comical. It's fresh, and I'd absolutely recommend it to anyone that's into reading vampire stories. I'd even recommend it to those that think that vampire books are silly being that this is more of a non-traditional vampire story. Check it out and see what you think, and meanwhile I'll be ordering the next book in the series.

http://www.chrismoore.com/fiends.html

Buy it @:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060735414/christophermooreA

Pleased to meet you

Remember when you stopped believing in Santa? It's like that, the moment you realize things are what they seemed. When you dig a little deeper, that's when you become discontented. I want to share with you the things that weren't what they seemed as well as the beautiful things that bring me great joy. As much as I'd like to go on, I'll leave today's ramblings at "Hello. How do you do?" and tomorrow, the soap boxing begins.