Let's Get Physical, Physical - Round 1

I'd consider myself a regular gym goer. I try to make it to the gym 3-4 times a week and my work outs usually last 1-1/2 hours. Going to the gym that often, you start to notice the other gym regulars as well as the gym newbies. The beginning of the year always means a fresh crop of newbies, as people start new workout routines in hopes of reaching their New Year's resolution fitness goals. I'm totally guilty of being irritated that there are more people going to the gym. It just means more waiting for equipment or not getting my favorite cardio machine, but then again if the LA Fitness that I go to would just get more stair climbers maybe I wouldn't get upset. Hint, hint! But I digress, the newbies aren't really something to get upset about, after all, they are just trying to get healthy, something I'm always encouraging.

I've been going to the same gym for almost a year an a half now, and I still don't know anyone else that goes there. Sure, the some personal trainers seem to recognize me and occasionally say "Hello", but that's the extent of my socialization at the gym. This being the case, I've begun to create names and identities for my fellow gym goers. Sometimes, people are named from movie/tv based off their resemblance to those characters and sometimes they are named from unique and/or prominent features or behaviors. Either way, it assures that I'll have that little bit of excitement when I see who's come to the gym that day. Below are some of my most memorable gym goers.

The Celebrities:

• Jake Fratelli (aka Robert Davi). You know the singing bad guy from The Goonies. You'd think the same thing if you saw him. The guy's a dead ringer for the character. If he started singing really loud in Italian one day, I'd probably pass out.
  

• Daniel Linderman (aka Malcom McDowell) The head of The Company in the early seasons of Heroes and I know he's also been on HBO's Entourage. This guy is the same age and has the white beard and everything. I feel like he's going to mess with mind at any moment. I just wish maybe he'd mess with my mind and convince me to workout more.
  

Celebrities Only In My Mind:

• Too Old To Be Trying To Look Cool Guy. This retired military, 65-70 plus, old man walks around like he owns the place. Come to think of it, maybe he does. Anyway, one of these days he's going to hurt himself because he obviously refuses to take any advice on how to use the equipment properly. When he's on the stair climber and he's leaning halfway down on the handles while no doubt on a higher level than he should be, I shake my head. When I watch him to crunches on the ab machine and he's only moving his arms and not crunching at all, I close my eyes. When I see his see his body contort while trying to pull too much weight on the bicep curl machine, it makes me freaking nervous. Too proud to take advice, one of these days he's sure to hurt himself (knock on wood).

• I'm Not Here For The Exercise Lady. There's one (or sometimes many) at every gym. Mine is in her 40's, comes in full make up and hair with a tank top so low that her ample bossom looks like it may pop out any second. Of course, she hops up onto the treadmill and struts her stuff all the while her girls are bouncing along inside her top. I don't know why she doesn't just wear a t-shirt that says "Hello my name is *fill in name here* and I'm here because I'd like to get laid". It's as simple as that. Then, maybe she wouldn't have to be on the treadmill as long.

• Miss I'm Hot & I Know It. Listen, I'm all for having confidence. If you look good, by all means, show it off, but when you live in Western Washington we all know it is never hot enough to be wearing just a sports bra and leggings. Besides, when you're always the only one showing so much skin at the gym (with the exception of the above lady's boobs) everyone knows you're just showing off. Maybe I'm hating a little, that is what women do after all. I'm not too proud to admit it, BUT I know that if I had a body like that I still would have a little modesty and wear more than underwear to the gym.

• Spandex Pants Man. I haven't seen this guy in awhile, but he sure was a favorite. He was in his late 40's, had bleached blonde hair, and chicken legs which he proudly showed off in his spandex pants. The crowning glory, though, was the self widened neck, extra wide tee that he wore with it. He looked like a male version of Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. He always made my day and I'd kill to see him running in place singing, "I'm a ma-niac, ma-niac on the floor..."
  

What kind of gym goers have you encountered? Have you paid that much attention? Lord knows what people think about me. Hey there's that girl who only has 2 gym outfits, or that's the chick that reads smut novels while doing cardio, because I do. I'm getting ready to head out to the gym shortly, and will definitely keep a look out for those that I've missed that are just too good to not share.