When you're wallowing deep, it gets pretty thick.

For nearly a week now, I've been trying to collect my thoughts. I've been in a funk, for lack of better words, and I was having difficulty putting things into words or atleast, intelligent sounding words. If you weren't aware, the company that my man and I used to work for closed it's doors December of 2008, and ever since we've been either collecting unenjoyment, as I like to call it, or I've been trying to get by working as a freelance graphic artist. It's been a rollercoaster ride that we were never prepared for. Since my decision to stop collecting unenjoyment and freelance full time, the work dwindled down to a low trickle, and is not coming in at all now. Figures, right? Now we're just attempting to survive on his unenjoyment check. Nice.

No money only means one thing. Get out and get any job, ASAP! Well not "any" job. As I've told my friends, it cannot involve little or no clothing. After all, it's just too cold this time of year. All joking aside, I had to consider seeking out part time employment as a way to help put food on the table. This is were my boo hoo'ing comes in. Like a midwestern 21'st century Scarlett O'Hara, I stood strong and proclaimed that as God as my witness, I'd never work a dead end part time job ever again! I had worked so incredibly hard up until my job loss to get to where I was. I missed out on keg parties and late nights in college because I had to work myself through college. I lived on ramen noodles and hot dogs after college, trying to survive while wallowing on the bottom of the corporate ladder. I was at the highest point of my career, and making good money too, when it all came crashing down. Now, a year later, I feel like all that work was for nothing.

Don't get the wrong idea about me though. In no way am I too proud to flip burgers, work a check out line, or make a latte. It's just that I never expected to be here again. I still had the remains of the "you can do anything you want to" crap that they fed you in school. You know, go to college, get a degree, and the world is your oyster? I guess, I just assumed that I would always go forward and never have to take any steps backward. I know now, this is not true. Having brewed over this for several days now, I realize that it's not the end of the world and like all the struggles before this one I will only come out a better person in the end. I just hope that the end of this struggle comes sooner rather than later.